There's No Skipping Holiday Tipping

Ho, Ho, Ho

‘Tis The Season For Shelling Out Dough

To Pretty Much Anyone You May Possibly Know.

The Pool Guy. The Exterminator. The Garbage Men Too

Everyone’s Looking For A Handout From You.

You Can Try To Run But You Won’t Be Able To Hide

As Holiday Tipping Is Known Worldwide.

A Twenty For The Class Gift Isn’t Nearly Enough

You’re Pressured To Do More And Buy Your Own Stuff.

The Crossing Guards And Bus Drivers Also Need To Be Greased

Though Protecting Our Kids Is Worth Bonus At Least.

How ‘Bout The Mailman Who Says Not A Word All Year ‘Round

Then Suddenly In December His Personality Is Found.

“Hello My Friend, Here’s Your Mail Today

Did I Mention My Name Is Allen LeFray?”

But You’re A Government Employee So What’s Your Defense

Since Taking The Cash Is A Federal Offense!

Don’t Forget The Security Who Mans The Community’s Gate.

He Knows An Envelope Is Part Of His Fate.

And The Dude At The Market? The One With The Tag, NO TIPPING

If You Think He’ll Turn Down The Coin You’re Unpolishedly TRIPPING!

At First It Will Appear As If It’s Not Expected

But That’s Just Because He’s Been Politically Corrected.

Then There’s The Nail Spot; The Hair Place; And The Chick Who Waxes Your Bush

Not To Mention Cash For The Coaches Who Help Your Kids Swoosh!

Tutors And Teachers; Office Staff Galore

They Deserve Appreciation Even if We Get Piss Poor.

Last But Not Least, The Madam Housekeeper! The Queen Of The Clean

Don’t Be Fooled By Her Coyness; She’s A Money Seeking Feign!

I Think That Probably Covers The Swag Giving List

But If I’ve Missed A Few You Still Get The Gist.

Here’s Hoping Our Gifts Are All Up To Snuff

Because Let’s Face It At This Point, Enough Is Enough!

The Struggle Is Real; Holiday Tipping’s No Joke

So Says My Wallet As Now I’m Flat Broke!

Happy Holidays To All And To All An Unpolished Ho, Ho, Ho

As I Send My Very Best Wishes JUST TO LET YOU KNOW.