Dear Silver Unpolished,

I’m a little congested.  So question: Scotch or Bourbon?

Signed,

Anonymous

Dear A Little Congested,

What a great topic!  When I’m stuffed up I often ask myself the same question.

I’ve long since graduated from the nighttime sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy head fever so you can rest medicine. That shit only helps compared to the Neti Pot.

If I get bogged down I don’t mess around. I like to pull out the heavy artillery and knock the snot right out!

First, for those readers who may not know the difference between Scotch and Bourbon, please allow me to briefly clarify.

According to the Federal Standards of Identity for Distilled Spirits, in order for a whiskey to call itself bourbon, “the mixture of grains from which the product is distilled has to contain at least 51% corn. The rest of the mixture or mash as it’s commonly referred is filled out with malted barley and either wheat or rye. The mash must be distilled at 160 proof or less, put into the barrel at 125 proof or less, and it must not contain any additives. The distillate must be aged in a new charred oak barrel.” 

If the Bourbon whiskeys have been stored in the prescribed oak containers for two years or more they may also be referred to as Straight Bourbon Whiskey. Whiskey distilled from Bourbon mash is whiskey produced in the United States. The name, Bourbon, comes from an area known as Old Bourbon, around what is now Bourbon County, Kentucky.

Light Whiskey and Blended Whiskey do not meet the same standards and guidelines as does a Straight Bourbon Whiskey.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BOURBON BUCKET LIST: 15 BOURBONS YOU NEED TRY! 

Scotch on the other hand, is a whisky which is a product of and manufactured in Scotland and made mostly from malted barley. The United Kingdom regulates its manufacture for consumption in the UK. The product is a mixture of whiskies, therefore categorized as a blend.

As a grammar freak, I’d also like to point out the spelling of whiskey varies from country to country. Here’s a way to become a whiz at spelling the word correctly:

Whiskey/Whisky Nmemonics:

• Countries that have E’s in their names (UnitEd StatEs and IrEland) tend to spell it whiskEy (plural whiskeys)
• Countries without E’s in their names (Canada, Scotland, and Japan) spell it whisky (plural whiskies)

So back to the whiskey/whisky business at hand…. Which poison do I pick: Scotch or Bourbon?

While this Wild Turkey would never turn down a good bump of Bourbon, at my core I’m a tried and true scotch gal.

I’ve been drinking the moonshine for almost twenty years and it hasn’t failed me yet.

CLICK HERE FOR THE 50 BEST SINGLE MALT SCOTCH

So if you’re in need of an unpolished prescription to cure your clogged schnoz, pour two scotches and call me in the morning.

Bottoms up!

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… Congested or not, for more unpolishedness about the pleasure of the pour, click here to read ELEVEN Reasons Scotch Drinkers Are The Greatest People. Or 10 Reasons Why You Should Always Go For The Girl Who Drinks Whiskey Or 7 Attractive Qualities About Girls Who Drink Whiskey, According To A Bartender.