UNPOLISHED SCATTERED BRAIN

Do you ever feel like you’re off your A game? Like you’re not as clear as usual? Do you ever feel like maybe you pulled a short stick, are stuck in a muck and now your brain is scattered? Though some people are more private and choose not to share, I gather a large number of us at one point or another experience a variety of scattered brain moments.

Lately my unpolished head has been all over the place causing a multitude of scattered brain scenarios. Last week in particular I had some unpolished scattered brain moments which in order to get through, I tried to breathe, grin and just bear it. 

Here Are Some Examples Of My Unpolished Scattered Brain:

(1.) Where are my glasses? I’ve looked everywhere. I can’t drive the car without my glasses because I’m blind as a bat. If I can’t find my glasses I can’t drive the car. If I can’t drive the car I can’t get to work on time. OMG, where are my glasses???????  My scattered brain was so scattered that I didn’t even think to notice I was WEARING MY GLASSES.

(2.) On my way to a charity luncheon I lost my phone. Can you imagine losing your phone? Seeing as though I had just hung up the very phone I lost, I’m not sure how this could have happened. Frantically searching every inch of my car from the inside out, I found myself laying on the hot pavement wearing high heels while I crawled underneath the vehicle in the hope the phone was there just waiting to be retrieved. It wasn’t. So I marched back into Publix where shopping would have been more of a pleasure had I had the phone and retraced my steps. One step being the pharmacy (obviously) and the second step being the scale ( again, obviously). No phone in sight. Nope. Gone. Phone not in Publix. Like a crazy person, I sprinted back to my car talking to myself out loud. “Where the f&^%k  is the goddamn phone? Where are you? Wasn’t I just using you? Where the hell did you go?” Before I knew it I had an audience of strangers watching me ransack my truck as I cursed my way through the front seats, back seats and the trunk. Two people offered to call my number but it didn’t help much since the phone was on silent.  Dripping sweat and already late for lunch I was ready to give up. The unpolished temper tantrum I was throwing seemed to entertain the crowd outside of Starbucks and within minutes I had an array of opinions coming my way. “You should use  Find My App. Do you have it? You should always have the phone on vibrate so even if it’s on silent you’ll hear it buzz. Well at least you’re backed up, right?” I knew everyone meant well but I was pissed. Then, out of nowhere a gentleman named Tim observed the unpolishedness and he too, offered to help. He was cool, calm and collected and came with a fresh set of eyes. Within seconds he said, “Um, is this your cell? Is this it sitting right here on your dashboard?” Oh Tim! Tim to the rescue! Crisis averted. Needless to say, I felt like a total jackass!

(3.) My kids go to different schools. Every day I pick up my younger son on the carpool line and then we swing around into our community to pick up the other one who takes the bus. That’s been the sequence for years; so much so that I’m on autopilot. I can do it in my sleep. EXCEPT I must have had my eyes wide shut and my brain scattered beyond belief because the other day I sat patiently for my son to get off the bus. While waiting, I struck up a conversation with another Mom whom I don’t regularly see at the bus stop. During our chat she wondered why I was there. One thing led to another and I realized my pick up pattern was all wrong. I failed to get on the carpool line altogether. I inadvertently skipped picking up my little boy and instead drove right to the bus stop for my other son. The only upside to this unpolishedly scattered moment was the fact that I’m never late. I was so overly early for stop #2 I was able to get to stop #1 and back in time before the bus pulled up. I dodged the bullet because fortunately my boys were none the wiser. PHEW!

(4.) I had planned to head out for an entire “ME” day. I wouldn’t be back for hours. My husband and kids were also rolling out for the day and actually had a half hour jump start.  As I was getting on the Interstate I realized I wasn’t one hundred percent certain I had turned off my flat iron. Oh no! Now what? Do I turn around? I have to turn around.  But if I turn around, I’ll be late for my destination. If I don’t turn around, I might burn down the house. I can’t let the house burn down. Wait, I did turn the iron off. I always turn it off. I have a ritual when it comes to turning the flat iron off. I say out loud, ” FLAT IRON OFF.” I do this on purpose to avoid the exact situation I was now facing. But this time I legitimately didn’t  remember if I said the mantra out loud. I couldn’t let the day go by wondering. No chance. I’m wayyyyy too Type-A to ignore such a potential disaster; not to mention the idea of trying to explain to my family why the house got set on fire wasn’t a fun thought. I ended up texting my neighbor and asked if she would run in through the garage and check the iron. I don’t know if I was more embarrassed that I failed to remember this simple task or if now she would see what a pigsty I had left the bathroom!

I guess some weeks are better than others especially when you’re as unpolished as I. Here’s hoping my brain is less scattered this week than last. Fingers crossed!

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… If you too are having some scattered brain moments and want some quick advice on how to combat the unpolishedness, check out this neat article I found titled, 10 Tips To Manage Your Scattered Brain!