Ten Unpolished Things That Make You Go Hmmmm!?

When I was in college C+C Music Factory was commonly heard playing in dorm rooms, apartments and in most of the local bars and clubs. I don’t hear the song too much anymore but when I tune into the 90’s jams on Satellite Radio it brings me right back. In today’s unpolished world, there’s always some new scenario that makes me go hmmmm!? I’ve complied a list of the most recent things that make me go hmmmm!?

TEN UNPOLISHED THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMM!?

1. Those weird looking, round, black, circle button earrings that give an optical illusion you’ve carved out a huge hole in your ears. What’s that about? I’m confused on this trend. I know it might sound as if I’m being judgmental and maybe I am a little bit but it’s only because I just don’t understand the look. Why would anyone want to make their earlobes appear as if there is a gigantic hole there? It’s definitely something that makes me go hmmmm!?
2. Craft stores. There is nothing about a craft store that’s appealing to me. Nothing. I wouldn’t be caught dead in one by choice but if I am there it’s likely because there’s some bullshit elementary school project I got suckered into doing which requires the trip. I race through the store as fast as possible so I can make a clean getaway but when I get to the front of the store to pay for the crap all hell breaks loose. Why? I’ll tell you why. Apparently there are about a zillion other people who actually love craft stores and every single one of them are in front of me on the never ending line. There’s about sixteen open registers and not a soul to be had in the whole store. So now I’m carrying a life sized piece of oaktag, three bottles of glue, stickers and a variety of magic markers which are about to fall out of my hands because I didn’t get a cart on the way in and the line isn’t budging. Does anybody work here? Where is the manager? Let’s gooooooooo! If that isn’t something that makes you go hmmmm I don’t know what is!
3. How many times have you called the doctor’s office and the automated recording goes something like this: “Please listen carefully as the menu options have recently changed.” Really? How do you define recently? I’ve been a patient of yours for the last ten years and absolutely nothing has changed. How about this…. Please press 1 for things that make you go hmmmm!?
4. I’m gonna get annihilated for this one but it needs to be discussed. I have a real issue with accents. It’s definitely a thing that makes me go hmmmm and it also makes me go unpolishedly nuts! I’m sorry if it sounds callous; I understand we can’t help where we grew up and how we say things but it’s a point of contention for me. The Midwest cadence ( Ohio, Michigan and Chicahhhhgo) is just as bad as the Southern drawl of the y’all not to mention the Baltimore, Philadelphia and South Jersey twang which are both equally as grating as my kids who speak like native Flooridians. I’m not excluding my fast paced, loud mouthed Northeastern accent from the things that make other people go hmmmm; I’m sure it’s not easy to listen to my voice either. For some reason unbeknownst to me, the thick Bahhhhston accent notorious for leaving out the “r” in every spoken word doesn’t seem to bother me. I can’t explain it other than to say it undoubtedly makes me go hmmmm!?
5. What’s with the chicks around town who don’t work out but somehow weigh fifty-six pounds soaking wet? Rumor has it middle aged women take their kids’ hyperactive prescription meds to curb their appetite. The unpolished definition of this is called the Adderall Diet. Not only is this something that makes me go hmmmm it also makes me go what in tarnation is wrong with you?
6. Laughter is the greatest sound of all time but what happens if you’re plagued with a bad laugh? Bet that’s something that makes ya go hmmmm!?  CLICK THIS LINK to cue Janice’s laugh from Friends! 
7. If you’ve been following my blog from the jump, you know my love/hate relationship with Facebook. Can someone please explain to me why people post the most random questions and insert the caption “AAAAAND GO…..”.
8. Call me unpolished but I still love a good, old fashioned, hand written thank you note. What I don’t like is having to wait until the next total solar eclipse to find it in my mailbox. When I finally get the thank you, the entire note is all but one sentence long. Dear Rachel, Thank you for your generous gift. Love, Jacob. Really? That whopping one liner took you six months to write? Just add it to the list of things that make me go hmmmm!?
9. A picture says a thousand words.  Enough said?
10. The biggest thing that makes me go hmmmm is the toggle happening since the end of time when it comes to out of town visitors. Let me break this down for you. A friend comes to town on vacation and wants to get together. You want to get together as well; except it’s not that simple. As a matter of fact it becomes quite complicated. You see, once you start coordinating calendars you realize only one of you is on vacation. You live here. You have a job. And kids. And responsibilities. Your friend who is here for leisure doesn’t really understand why meeting him/her at 11:15am at the Boca Beach Club for a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity on a Tuesday isn’t gonna jibe. When you, the local resident then suggests a different day and/or a time which may work better, the friend on vacation can’t do it because he/she is playing golf or having lunch with someone else or wants to bask in the sun for seven consecutive hours or may even have slated that particular window of time to take a nap before the evening activity he/she already planned. The constant push-pull of who is supposed to accommodate who yields a huge unpolished thing that makes me go hmmmm!?

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW…. There’s always something new that makes me go hmmmm!? I’ll keep adding to the list if you do the same. Comment below and let me know some of the things that make you go hmmmm!?