Sending Out An SOS

I know there’s been a lull since my last blog but no need to worry;  I’m still here!

Sure it appears I’m sending out an SOS but please allow me to explain.  This is not your typical, cry for help, come rescue me SOS.  This is an unpolished SOS.  You see, the SOS I’m sending out stands for the SUMMER OF SILVER.

Rest assured, I do not need any saving.  I’m not drowning.  I’m not stranded on a desert island without wifi or wine.

I am simply enjoying my SOS; my SUMMER OF SILVER.

While a lot of you are on summer vacay in Europe or hanging in the Hamptons or hiking while high in Aspen or still recuperating from the Fare Thee Well Grateful Dead Three Night Celebrating 50 Years of Grateful Dead at Chicago’s Soldier Field  I am home not doing any of those things.

As a matter of fact, I’m unpolishedly enjoying not doing a lot of things during my SOS.

Here’s a quick list of some of the things I’m enjoying NOT DOING this summer:

1. I’m enjoying not doing sixty-two loads of laundry every day.  My laundry room has officially become nothing more than a conduit from the garage to the kitchen.  Yup, it’s simply a pathway to get from Point A to Point B.  My washer and dryer are in culture shock.  I bet they need therapy.  I’m convinced if they could talk they’d say, “Why have you abandoned us.  You used to pay so much attention to us and touch us and stick your hand in us and turn us on all the time; and even if you weren’t in the mood, you were still always here being with us.  Now you walk by us like we don’t exist.  And the worst part, if we’re being honest, is it seems like you’re really enjoying NOT DOING US this summer!”

2. Speaking of appliances, my dishwasher has a similar gripe to that of the washer and dryer.  I don’t think I’ve ran the dishwasher since June 25th.  As a matter of fact, my kitchen as a whole is just that…. A HOLE.  It’s empty; vacant; void of cups all over the counters and absent of dishes piled up in the sink and an elimination of tons of shit in the fridge that I inevitably would have to throw away.  The kitchen wreaks of emptiness and cleanliness!  This emptiness and cleanliness brings me pure joy!  I’m in ecstasy NOT DOING anything that resembles a task that would otherwise be done in the kitchen.   “Screw you, Kitchen!   You’re feeling neglected too?  Quit your bitching and take your friends in the laundry room with you.  Save it for someone who cares, cuz it sure as hell ain’t me.  My shop is closed for business until the end of August.  Until then, you’re dead to me.”

3. I’m enjoying NOT DOING grocery shopping.  And you wanna know something?  I’m wondering why Publix hasn’t sent out an SOS for real on my whereabouts.  Seriously, if somebody showed up at your store every, single day throughout the school year and knew who you were not just by face recognition but by first and last name too, wouldn’t you be slightly worried if he or she disappeared?  I mean, maybe I should be insulted that nobody has looked for me.  I have completely vanished  from all things deli counters, snack aisles, and frozen sections.  You’d think my absence at the very least would warrant a phone call, wouldn’t you?

4. While we’re talking about phone calls…. I guess it doesn’t matter if Publix skips tracking me down via phone or sending out an SOS on my coordinates because I’m thoroughly enjoying NOT ANSWERING THE PHONE.  If you know me at all, you know I wouldn’t answer the phone regardless of what season we’re in, but since it’s the SUMMER OF SILVER, I’m doubly enjoying not answering the phone.  I found a great article yesterday on Kveller.com about people who hate talking on the phone titled, “Dear Family, I Love You But I Can’t Talk On The Phone.”  It’s spot on!  If you wanna read it, CLICK HERE! 

So I suppose the bigger question to what I’m NOT DOING this summer would be to ask what exactly have I been doing this summer, right?

Well obvs, when the cats’ are away the unpolished will indeed play but if I’m gonna fill you in on what I HAVE BEEN DOING versus what I’ve NOT BEEN DOING you better make sure you’re ready to get your hands dirty in my SUMMER OF SILVER unpolishedness!

 It’s possible you may think about calling the Police and Sending Out An SOS!!!!

Perhaps I’ll put my message in a bottle future blog post and share what I’ve really been up to, but until then I hope you’re all enjoying your own unpolished summer of whatever!

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW….. If you’re head is now stuck with the tune, Sending Out An SOS by the Police and you need a fix of the song,  CLICK HERE!